Shirley Bulen
Blue Springs, Missouri
A Journey to Truth
“If you cry out for insight and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures;
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.”
Proverbs 2:3-5
My family heritage in the RLDS church was strong. I was the 5th generation on both sides of my family. My maternal great-great-grandfather was Joseph Luff, a well-known and respected apostle of the early RLDS church. On the paternal side, my great-great grandfather was Thomas Brocaw, a devoted missionary in his time as well.
As a small child I made a decision to follow Jesus. Even through the normally rebellious teen years I desired to live in a way that would honor God. It is difficult to see error when living by the accepted truth that you know.
It was the upheaval in the RLDS church that brought me to a place of searching for the truth of God. The disagreement over basic beliefs and doctrines caused many splits. Some claimed new revelation, others claimed to preach the truth as set forth by Joseph Smith. Each had a specific doctrinal focus and there was no agreement. The saving grace of Jesus Christ was never the focus. It was a very confusingtime. As I tried to discern where God wanted me, questions began to arise. I had to find some answers.
1) The order of priesthood was not part of the New Testament church,especially, as Jesus was and is the final and permanent and present High Priest. (Hebrews 7:23-28)
2) The Book of Mormon is not the "fullness of the gospel", but Jesus fills that role. (Colossians 1:25-27, 2:9)
3) The Book of Mormon was not "translated" with the urim and thumim, but rather by Joseph Smith hiding his head in his hat with a "peep stone" and words appearing for him, while the gold plates were not even around. (CH Vol. 1:346)
4) Many early revelations were changed, or, in later times, dropped off or moved to an appendix…does God change His mind? (Book of Commandments, Doctrine & Covenants)
Because the premise of the church, claimed by Joseph Smith, was that all other churches were wrong and the gospel was ‘restored’ through him, I decided the best way to find the truth was to study what Joseph Smith originally taught. I went to church literature, and began reading the oldest book I had on the subject, “Joseph Smith and His Progenitors.” An account written by Joseph Smith’s own mother, Lucy Mack Smith. From my own mother’s heart, it only made sense that she would write an account as accurate as possible, with insights into the earliest teachings.
I had not read very far into the book before I began to be consumed with doubts. Not only about the origin of the church, but in the authenticity of the Book of Mormon as well.
For the next 2 years I read many books and searched through volumes of church History and old documents located at the RLDS library and archives. I was amazed at the evidence of error and occult practice I found that had so carefully been filtered out of the teaching and the history that is presented to church members. I tried to talk myself into justifying the error. Elders I counseled with would encourage me not to read any more. I could not choose to ignore the facts. I prayed that God would lead me to understand His truth.
This does not happen overnight. After 40 years in the church, this was a terrible time for me. The RLDS church had been my family. But I had to acknowledge the truths I discovered. Once I decided that I needed to break with the church it was final. It was also a time of grief. There is always some rejection involved. I felt lost because I had no church home. As I prayed for guidance, I turned from research about the church to Bible study.
This is the gospel: I Corinthians 15:1-11
How God speaks to us today: Hebrews 1:1-3, and John 14:26
What should we NOT follow: Galatians 1:8.
I finally began to learn that I was not alone. Others had embarked on the same quest and had documented the errors in the church. Had I known that, I would not have needed to spend so many hours searching through the records and documents myself. Do you have doubts or concerns? Are you also a "closet-doubter"? Do you have questions about the Restoration doctrine? Do you desire the truth of God in your life? Ask for His Holy Spirit as you study His word. It is my testimony that God is faithful and will lead us in truth when we place our trust and faith completely in Him and Him alone, not in a creed or religious system. May God bless you as you grow in communion with Him.
Shirley Nunn Bulen
You can send Shirley an email by clicking here shirleybulen@sbcglobal.net