Refiner's Fire Ministries

When one considers just what’s at stake when he steps out in faith, leaving behind all that has sustained him for years, in some cases, decades, it can be a daunting proposition. For many, leaving the “one true church” in search of the Truth of the Bible goes against everything they have been taught—perhaps all of their lives. That is why I feel so inadequate sitting here as a newcomer writing these blog posts. Most of them are personal simply because I have only my own experience to tap into. I will happily welcome any feedback from those who have been ensconced in the church their whole lives.

Looking back over the scant five years of my association with the Restoration, discounting the twenty-five years of living with an orthodox member, I’m increasingly convinced my rampaging enthusiasm may have been both a blessing and a curse. From the outset there was much confusion which I chalked up to ignorance. And there was no shortage of ignorance. I jumped right into the Book of Mormon and read diligently until I had finished it. Meanwhile I struggled with the Doctrine and Covenants, but never really read it from cover to cover. It was only later that I found out there are so many revisions to the original (not even considering the Book of Commandments, which is another issue altogether) that you have to be careful which one you use, what purpose you have when using it, or what issue you are addressing when doing so. I actually had a woman come up to me after church one day and ask me if my D. & C. contained Sections 107 and 108. At the time I was using a fairly old edition so I could assure her it did indeed contain those sections. Right there between 106 and 109. I have a feeling she would have heartily disapproved if I had said they were there but had been placed in the the Appendix during the 1970 world conference. Apparently the esteemed hierarchy found baptism by proxy unpalatable. I can’t imagine why.

Enough about baptism for the dead. Restorationists would come out of the woodwork, screaming, “We don’t believe in that!” Joseph Smith did. At least he taught it and practiced it. Where do you draw the line in regard to doctrine/revelation/visitation? Or is this another cafeteria style method for adding to or subtracting from church doctrine? Common consent or arbitrary decision making on the part of church hierarchy?

Somewhere in the summer of 2006, I felt “led” to write a book for teenagers. It was probably just heartburn, but I definitely felt a burning in the bosom, and Cec (my husband) had just left on a road trip to Deadhorse, Alaska—his idea of a vacation—so I had time on my hands. I started the research for my book—a crash course that made my long ago summer school class in Shakespeare look like Kindergarten. I attacked the Book of Mormon, the Inspired Version of the Bible, and The Doctrine and Covenants, plus a couple of volumes of insufferably boring church history. I also sent an alarming amount of money to Amazon for intriguing looking tomes I thought I couldn’t possibly do without. During my research I came upon a rather disturbing piece of information: Joseph Smith did not sit down and place the Urim and Thummim over his chest, neck, eyes, face, or what have you, and translate the Book of Mormon. He sat down, dropped a seer stone in his hat, stuck his face in the hat and dictated the book of Mormon! What?

All right. Okay. I could live with that. I just didn’t include it in my book. It certainly was conspicuously absent from any of church history that I had seen up to that point. But what about the treasure seeking? The commandment to take his soon-to-be-dead brother Alvin with him when he went to pick up the gold plates? The myriad first vision accounts? The animal sacrifices? What about the fact that there’s no such language as Reformed Egyptian?

Not to be undone in the face of conflict, I stuck with it and finished the book. But by then I had lost my enthusiasm. I felt deceived, betrayed and very confused. So I involved myself in trying to get to the truth concerning some of the members of the priesthood/hierarchy, many of whom have managed to raise pride and arrogance to an art form. About this time my husband cautioned me not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Joseph Smith may have been a hapless fool, but he did give us the Book of Mormon.

So I continued my quest for the truth about the church and Joseph Smith. But I kept going back to the priesthood. There was something about it that nagged at me, but I just couldn’t nail it down. Then I stumbled upon a couple of websites which contain testimonies written by former members of the Restoration. I didn’t even know they existed! I had thought that if you left the One True Church you fell into a black hole and were never seen or heard from again. I've even received an email from an elder telling me that I've "lost my way." But suddenly I had found there is an ever-expanding group of former members out there who also began questioning and found the Truth in the gospel. Many of these people were once priesthood, married to priesthood, or children of priesthood.

I read the Book of Hebrews again and found what these former members had found: that Jesus Christ did away with the need for the high priest. His one sacrifice rendered the Aaronic priesthood obsolete! (Hebrews 10) Jesus Christ is our high priest after the order of Melchizedek. Not some gaggle of priests, elders, seventy, patriarchs, apostles, presidents, etc., etc., etc.

Joseph Smith wasn’t a hapless fool. He was cunning, conniving, and very controlling. In his short life he managed to desecrate the Bible, the church, and the name of Jesus Christ and God Almighty. I didn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater; I have thrown the bathwater out with the baby. I pray that today’s “saints” will see the error of their ways and come back to the truth of the Holy Scriptures. One book, one God, one plan of salvation.